france recap

this is a recap i wrote in july 2018 when i returned home from france after spending a month there for a study abroad program.

it's extremely juvenile in writing style, evidently, as i was 17 years old when i wrote it - but it is one of the few tangible things i have left of that era of my life.

here it is in it's cringy, unedited (except for names being censored) glory.

arrival

AAAHHH it was rough bcos my host fam (mom and her bf) wasn’t there since ███████ was supposed to be there earlier than me but her flight was delayed so they went home. so i had to wait with ███████ and ███████ and ███████ and it was rough cos i didn’t expect them to speak french RIGHT THEN AND THERE. host fam got me at around 6 i think maybe. it was awkward. oof. OOF!!!!

then we we got to the house ███████ and ███████ were there and it was so awkward i hated it!!! i mean we played uno but i’m so intimidated by her son lmfao.

then dinner. DINNER......

LEMME JUST SUM UP THIS DAY WITH AWKWARD.... I HATED IT LMAO.

day one

woof. it was something. met ███████ that morning. ███████ and ███████ took the train with us to toulouse and we got to ICT. the orientation was......something. lmao. had lunch with the gay squad because i thought that was gonna be my squad. and when we toured the city....oof too..... went home and dinner was better without the other kids but it was still WOOF.

day two

orientation again. but then they placed us in our classes and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i was hoping i wasn’t gonna get in one but now, after the fact, i’m so happy lol. anyway i’m p sure the classes were predetermined, the assessment thing was just to see where we were at.

had lunch w the gay squad again and i’m p sure we ate mcdonald’s??? what a mood.

day three

first day of classes. i was confused af.....

we did yoga...and i expected ███████ to know more english. i mean it’s not a bad thing that she doesn’t but!!! bcos we're french one lol...but it’s not her fault lol it’s the program.

and i also...ate pizza w ███████, ███████ and ███████? or ███████. i don’t remember to be honest but i’m positive it was ███████ since ███████ is always with ███████. I THINK..... i don’t remember.

then we went to jardin des plantes.....

paired with ███████ again and she made me cringe :(

day four

ya this day fucked.

the oz le français......i was w ███████ and ....

that shit was awful... lmao

i don’t remember what i ate.

this day was the hip hop day too which was HELL. i didn’t dance at all except maybe a little bit at the beginning. but i fucken hated it! bitch!!!!

day five

scavenger hunt after class....i thought i was gonna be chill with ███████ and ███████ after this day but not really. ███████ is super cool tho but since she kept to herself most of the time i didn’t really talk to her.

i wish i could’ve been more like her the whole trip.

my first impression was fucking AWFUL....

anyway.....we just ate candy after the scavenger hunt

day six

we went to carcassonne... i loved it! hung out with ███████ most of the day and i bought sunglasses. the castle was super cool and i LOVED the cathedral. there was a choir in there and they were really good. also helped ███████ buy a scarf but she later in the program said she didn’t like it that much lol.

then i ran into ███████ and ███████ and i hung out with them for the rest of the time... got crepes. well, they did and i had a bite.

i like carcassonne. the french countryside is beautiful and wonderful.

OH... and when we got home, our host moms daughter was there and she took us to get mcdonald’s and we also saw infinity war!!! IN FRENCH!!!! and it fucked me up!!! rip tom holland lmao!

day seven

we didn’t. do anything lol. uhmmmm. i don’t remember what we did but since we live so far from the city i’m pretty sure we just. slept in.....ate lunch....and yeah....

day eight

i literally don’t remember whatever it was we did in the classes. i wrote it down in the notebook for class anyway so it doesn’t matter whether i put it down here or not.

anyway.

we went to a restaurant with ███████ and the other day she had sent out an email asking for restaurant suggestions. apparently i was the only one who answered so we went to my suggestion (le bol bleu)

and it fucking sucked!!! i didn’t get what i ordered but honestly it wouldn’t have mattered because the food was salty as fuck anyway!!!!

anyway....later we did « my toulouse tour » and i’m glad i chose the one i did cus we went to a bunch of libraries but unfortunately i could not buy anything. well. i could have but i didn’t wanna buy a book in french since i couldn’t read it. but toulouse has so many libraries!!!! i wanna come back when i’m better at french and buy a bunch of books. (if i ever get better at french and if i don’t die first of course lmao)

day nine

watched a movie called « le brio » and it was alright. i kinda liked it. don’t remember what i ate that day and honestly i probably didn’t eat anything at all lmao. and we had language classes after that. i think......damn idk what we did after that lol

day ten

was in a group w ███████ and...someone else for the OZ le français. i don’t remember who im pretty sure it was ....███████..

and we met a lady who spoke english and told us what we needed to know and it was such a relief lmao.

me and ███████ went to a cat cafe!!!! it smelled bad but we got cheesecake and it was so yummy!!!!!!

then we went to listen to traditional occitan music... and i danced a traditional dance.... la moliera......

legit don’t remember what we did after that but it was hot as shit.

day eleven

intercultural dialogue????? isabelle wrote d.i.e on the board and we had to talk about french culture vs american culture.

after school host mom took us to fête de la musique in grenade. it was alright. drank coke. but before that we went to an art gallery that was low key creepy but pretty interesting. a guy jumpscared us for some reason. there was a cool bedroom that i took a pic of.

day twelve

port vendres!!!!!! the mountains are super pretty :-(. i’m so glad i got the hotel lmao. lara said later that people with health problems got the hotel. the hostel sounded rough. walked around with erika. smelled some good pink flowers. i have the schedule still. dinner succckkkeedd. like. sorry paul (dude who ran the hostel) but the food was gross and i didn’t like it. the cake was good tho.

day thirteen

in the morning, went on a walk with ███████ and ███████. it was nice. ███████ “proposed” to erika cus they wanted to live in port-vendres. they talked about what they’re house would look like and what dogs and cats they would have.

me personally. i’d have a cozy house. doesn’t matter. i’d have ivy and i’d wake up in the mornings and take long walks. id just chill.

when we went to the beach. that was uhhhhhh. rough since i didn’t swim lol. instead of hiking i went on the bus with ███████, ███████, ███████, ███████, ███████, and ███████. we talked to some british couple. well, ███████ and ███████ did mostly.

anyway, the beach. it was super hot. the sand burned my feet. i walked around a little bit but i sat down most of the time. around the end, i sat on this little lifeguard post looking thing. wrote a bunch- mostly angst stuff. but it was really pretty.

then we danced! we went to the fête de la saint jean and watched a bon fire and we danced! ███████ had a dance-off with some cute french guy, a bunch of french boys were trying to get with the white girls and etc. lmaoooo

it was a chill night tho.

day fourteen

checked out. went to collioure. the water was much bluer and clearer. it was really pretty. went to the market. ate some sandwiches. it was nice.

day fifteen

free time~~~don’t remember what i did but i’m pretty sure i just bought a bunch of clothes haha. but for lunch, since ███████, ███████, and i won the class quiz on everyone’s projects, ███████ took us out to lunch. we ate at an italian place. ███████, ███████ and ███████ joined us. i ordered a really good pasta that had black truffle. i also ate some of ███████ pizza. and the dessert was alright! just dipped bread in some nutella. it was nice.

day sixteen

maison de la violette.....it smelled nice and i LOVED the almonds... but it was low key unnecessary to go there. i mean i get hat it’s history but why did we go cus it was pretty much just a tourist store. it’s whatever tho. i wanted to buy the almonds but they were super expensive. afterwards i went with ███████ and ███████ to a japanese garden and took a bunch of pretty pics. we ate ice creammm. it was chill.

day seventeen

airoscopia. kinda cool!! the planes are interesting. there was one of the fastest planes.... the concord... lots of tintin stuff. i bought tintin cards for 5 euros lmao. after school i chilled with ███████. put my feet in the pool while she swam.

day eighteen

la cité de l’espace. man.....it was so boring. the tour guide was nice tho. i was also extremely dehydrated and wanted to pass out and die. ███████ told me to text her when i got home to make sure that i drank water haha... good god it was BORING. i legit just wanted to die the whole time lol. didn’t do anything afterward cus we didn’t have time.

another toulouse tour...in a museum. we went to musée saint raymond. it was pretty cool, the downside is that we had to do a scavenger hunt. lots of old stuff, they made us put our bags away. everything was roman and grecian.

day nineteen

but uhhhhhh this was the day that guy harassed me lmao. i bought clothes. and im glad ███████ and ███████ supported me.

day twenty

nothing...........███████ left that night to ███████’s house to sleep over. and i was stuck with ███████ and ███████.....i hated it lmao.... ate an awkward dinner and slept....

day twenty one

slept in.....███████ and ███████ came back to swim then left. i was glad it was over but it was so awkward.

day twenty two

monday... i won a tournament! got a little trophy hahaha. host mom picked us up and we had to watch a ceremony for a firefighter chief or something. her daughter (███████) took us home and we chilled. when host mom came home later, ███████’s friend came over and they swam. me and ███████ just put our feet in.

day twenty three

tried to go shopping but nah. another intercultural dialogue which was pretty annoying!!!!!!! i don’t remember much of this day even tho it was only two days ago lmao. i know we hung out with ███████. OH... we got mcflurrys. we ate something before that but i don’t remember !!!!

day twenty four

the fourth of july picnic was a dub lmao. ███████ and i woke up super early to buy food. bought a chicken sandwich which was really good but i feel like it would have been better if the bread wasn’t so hard !!!!

and we got kicked out of the park anyway and we had to go to the other park which was one of the highest points in toulouse.

anyway......the doodle surprise that day pissed me off......i chose artistic cus i thought we were doing something artistic and interesting... like painting or smth....... but ███████ made us do a music video !!!! wtf!!!! luckily i was only in two scenes and i didn’t really have to do anything but sit there and look serious.

went with ███████ to ███████’s fourth of july bbq that his host family was having. ███████ joined us. ███████ and ███████ were supposed to come but it rained hard. american air force came bc ███████’s host dad used to be a military guy or something. it was alright. drank beer and champagne. the part was really funny tho. i’m gonna buy ███████’s book.

day twenty five

STAMP TEST WAS AN L LMAO. but it’s whatever. i improved i guess. the speaking portion was....i kinda just BSd it lmao. later i went with ███████ and ███████ around town... i went souvenir shopping. got ███████’s gift. i’m just gonna get ███████ a gift card bc idk what he likes!!! then........i’m pretty sure we did something but i honestly don’t remember.

day twenty six

RIP!!!! saddest day of my fucking life!!! cried a bunch!!! smoked a cigarette!!! chilled with ███████ and ███████ (smoked the cig with them!!) drank starbucks....dressed up and finally put on foundation for the first time... finished packing... it was all so rough. i cried so much that day. me and ███████ were the last students to leave. and outside of the gym we had just had pizza in i took in the silence. i cried some more. i tried as best as possible to savor the night.

day twenty seven

saw ███████ off. cried some more. went from toulouse to paris. and now im on a plane that’s just left paris and im on my way to JFK airport in new york. it hasn’t hit me yet. but at the same time it has. just now i felt a sob bubble up. and it went away once i acknowledged it haha.

oh god. i’m gonna miss toulouse.

i’m gonna miss all the little shops. i’m gonna miss the pink bricks. i’m gonna miss the metro. the train. i’m gonna miss the sun going down at ten pm. i’m gonna miss the nature. how beautiful the countryside is.

i miss it. this’ll be with me forever. but i wonder if i’ll ever see it again.